I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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