why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
