I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
