i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
