I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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