he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
