She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
