party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
