My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
