it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
