How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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