her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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