Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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