she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
