Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
