dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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