Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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