I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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