i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
