Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
