oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
