You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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