My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
