Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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