We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
