I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
