Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
