farters have to be the big spoon...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
