Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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