Your tits are I can't wait for
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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