I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
