You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
