i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
