Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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