well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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