I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you traded sex for a burrito?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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