I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
