I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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