I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
