you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
