Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
