i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
