If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
