Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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