My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
