And the cops told us we were all naked.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
