You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
