This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So vagazzling was a success
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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