Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
