She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
